


Mending What's Broken

by CantEscapeMyFandoms



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, F/M, Romance, Written pre-canon, but I guess it's AU now
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-04
Updated: 2015-02-04
Packaged: 2018-03-10 11:32:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,240
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3288797
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CantEscapeMyFandoms/pseuds/CantEscapeMyFandoms
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Neal's death, Emma chooses Killian, but he doesn't believe that she's genuine as he believes she's grieving for Neal and that she doesn't love him because she wants to, but because he's her only choice. Emma sets out to prove him wrong.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mending What's Broken

**Author's Note:**

> This was actually written before Neal died, but come on, we all knew that he was. But anyway, I wrote this because before Neal died, I wanted to see some major CS development, and then I started thinking about how Hook haters would just say Emma chose Hook because Neal died, and the thought irritated me enough to write this. 
> 
> Also, on my fanfiction profile this work is under Swan Confessions.

"Swan?" Hook was surprised to see her on the other side of his door. They were both staying at the Inn, because he didn't have his ship, therefore no place to go, and Emma and Henry were currently staying due to the lad's memory loss. They'd yet to figure out how to restore the boy's memories of Storybrooke.

Emma didn't say anything, instead pushing past him, entering his room.

Concerned, he closed the door, turning towards her. "What's wrong, love?"

Emma took a deep breath before looking up at him.

You can do this Emma. She told herself. You can do this. You have to do this before it's too late. Before you lose him.

"I..." Emma swallowed. Come on, just tell him. Tell him how you feel. "I just..."

Hook stepped forward, brows knitted, eyes full of worry. "Emma, it's all right. You don't have to say anything..."

"No, I have to say this." Emma swallowed.

"No you don't." Hook said. "I know that you're upset about Bae-Neal, you don't have to ask me to back off. I'll..."

"Whoa, wait, what do you mean "back off"?" Emma interrupted.

"Neal was your love." Hook shrugged. "You don't need the likes of me pestering you."

Emma looked at him with disbelief. He actually thinks that I don't...

Unable to stand the fact that the man she loved believed that she didn't love him back, Emma surged forward, grabbing his shirt collar (not unlike the way she'd grabbed his coat in Neverland), and pulling his lips to her own.

He tensed, not responding at first, wondering why she was kissing him.

Her lips moved more insistently, urgently, against his and he caved because gods, Emma Swan was kissing him. She was kissing him just as she did in Neverland.

Emma pulled him to her tightly, pressing her body fully to his as she nipped and sucked at his lips.

He groaned into the kiss, his hand going to her hair, tangling in the blonde strands, pulling her closer. Gods, he didn't want this to end.

Her tongue darted out, licking his bottom lip, eliciting a gasp from him. Emma took full advantage, pushing her tongue into his mouth, devouring him.

A moan escaped him.

She keened over the fact that she had such an effect on him.

Hook bit her lip, earning a mewling sound from her.

The kiss was passionate and rough and bruising and toe curling; it was so them.

They pulled apart, breathing heavily, lungs burning from lack of oxygen.

Emma pressed close to him, relieved that she could finally let herself be with him. With Neal's death, she realized that there was no time, that there might not be an after once the Wicked Witch was defeated. And Emma would be damned if Killian died (or she died) without him knowing how she felt about him. She opened her eyes to look at him, and found him looking absolutely wrecked.

As they breathed each other in, Killian couldn't stop thinking about the kiss. Worse yet, he couldn't stop thinking about why she kissed him. Neal had died only a few days ago, in Emma's arms, with his last words being I love you to her. Of course she'd be seeking comfort in him. Her True Love was gone, so why not go for the pining pirate who'd never say no to her?

It cut him deeply; broke his already fragile heart.

Emma didn't love him, she never would. How could she? She was the Savior, the daughter of Snow White and Prince Charming, the product of True Love. He was just a one handed pirate with a drinking problem, too damaged and broken from his own past. He was nothing to her.

As Emma moved in to kiss him again, Killian ripped himself away from her, turning his back on her. He touched his lips, just as he did in Neverland, and he swallowed hard. Emma didn't want him; he couldn't let her do something that she'd regret.

Emma blinked in confusion. "Killian?"

He couldn't look at her; he had to be strong enough to do this. If he looked at her, his resolve would crumble and he would let her take full advantage of him.

So, instead, he opened the door and left her.

Emma's heart shattered the moment the door shut.

Her eyes watered. He didn't want her anymore...she was too late.

*************************

When David opened the door to the loft, he didn't expected a tearful Emma on the other side.

"Can I come in?" She asked softly, her voice thick with tears.

David didn't say anything, pulling her into his arms.

Emma held him tightly, needing the comfort.

"Emma?" Mary Margaret questioned, surprised, as she came down the stairs.

David guided Emma inside, and shut the door.

"What's wrong?" Mary Margaret asked, worried when she saw Emma's tears.

"I kissed Hook." Emma said.

Mary Margaret winced sympathetically. "And you feel guilty."

"What? No." Emma shook her head. "Why would I feel guilty?"

"Oh, well, because Neal..." Mary Margaret started.

Emma stiffened. Of course, her mother would think that. Mary Margaret believed that Neal was Emma's True Love, her chance at happiness. "I wasn't in love with Neal."

Mary Margaret looked surprised; David didn't.

"Why?" Mary Margaret asked. "He was your first love..."

And something in Emma snapped. It was time to set the record straight.

"And you and David were really lucky that your first love ended up being your True Love." Emma told her. "But not everyone else is. God, weren't you listening in Neverland. I lost Neal a long time ago. He broke my heart, he's a huge part of why I have trust issues, he was the reason that I gave up Henry. I was in love with him when I was young and naive and stupid. But ever since he came back into my life I never wanted to be with him. Sure, I thought for one second that maybe getting back together with Neal would be good for Henry, so that Henry could have the family that neither Neal nor I ever did, but it would have been the worst thing that I could've done for myself. I wouldn't be happy with Neal, because there was so much, there still is so much pain, over what he did to me."

"And what was that?" David asked.

Emma swallowed. She did want to set the record straight after all, and they were her parents and they wanted oh so badly for her to open up to them, to let them in, and even though Emma knew that telling them everything would hurt them, she also knew that it would finally help them understand her like they should. So she went and sat down, her parents following her, and she told the whole story. The story of how she and Neal met, how they lived, how he was wanted for stealing, his betrayal. Why she gave Henry up, and how she gave birth to him in prison and couldn't even look at him because she thought she'd be a horrible mother, because Neal proved to her that she couldn't be loved, that something was wrong with her.

But she didn't stop there. No, she talked about the ten years worth of one night stands and living in a routine of work and home, not wanting to risk her heart. How it felt when Henry found her, and everything that happened in Storybrooke that led her to thinking she could open up again. How she felt for Graham and how she was robbed of her first chance at love in a long time. How she couldn't open up to loving her own kid until he was in the hospital dying from the sleeping curse.

And then she got to Hook. She told them how she felt upon first meeting him, how she was drawn to him instantly. She spoke of the beanstalk and the connection they formed and how she abandoned him because she couldn't take a chance on him. How she drove him back to allying with Cora, when she knew that he would've stayed by her side had she not chained him up and left him. She told them about everything from the moment she saw him hurt on the side of the road and her concern for him, and how she tried not to feel for him because his revenge was only going to lead to his death. How he found them in New York, how he kept coming back, how he always fought for her, and believed in her when no one else did. How she came to trust him more than she'd ever trusted anyone when they were in Neverland. How she wanted to set the record straight with both him and Neal that there was never going to be a her and Neal. How when they came back to Storybrooke, she was waiting on him to find her so she could express her worries about Henry because she knew that he'd listen. How jealous she felt when she thought that he an Tinker Bell had hooked up. How it was too painful to say goodbye to him and everything that they could've had when the new curse hit, but he still managed to give her his parting words.

She told them about Walsh, about how Hook found her in New York, and how she sent him to jail, only to later bail him out to question him. How he told her that there was a man in the life she'd lost that loved her and how she knew it was him and that was what convinced her to take the potion. She told them how ever since she returned all she wanted was to finally be with him, but being the Savior came first so she put it all on the back burner.

"And now that Neal's gone...it made me realize that I couldn't risk it." Emma finished. "I couldn't let him, or me, die without him ever knowing that I...how I felt about him."

"So you kissed him." David nodded, trying to reign in his anger. Not at Emma, god never at Emma, but at Neal, and this Walsh, and the whole damn world for letting his daughter down.

Mary Margaret kept quiet, still silently crying over everything that her daughter had ever been through, and cursing herself for never trying to get to know Emma. Ever since the first curse broke, all she had wanted was to be Emma's mother, but she had forgotten how to be Emma's friend. And it seemed as though Emma needed her friend a hell of a lot more than she had ever needed her mother.

Emma nodded. "I did, but it's too late."

Mary Margaret cocked her head. "What do you mean?"

"After I kissed him, he left." Emma sniffed. "He doesn't want me anymore."

David choked back a snort. It was impossible to believe; the pirate had never exactly been subtle about his feelings for Emma.

"Emma, what exactly did he say after you kissed him?" Mary Margaret's tone took on a slightly mothering one.

"Nothing." Emma said. "He just...left. Just like everyone else."

David and Mary Margaret flinched at her words, but Emma didn't notice.

Mary Margaret stood. "How about some hot cocoa?"

Emma nodded, a ghost of a smile on her face.

"Actually, I have to go take care of something." David said. He kissed Emma's forehead, then kissed Mary Margaret. "I'll be back soon."

As soon as the door shut behind him, Emma turned to her mother. "He's going after Hook isn't he."

"Oh believe me, your angry overprotective father is the least of Hook's worries." Mary Margaret said. "It's your angry, overbearing, hormonal mother that he's going to have to contend with."

Emma snorted. Maybe having parents wasn't so bad after all.

*************************

Emma had kissed him again, and he should've been happy, no overjoyed, hell bloody well over the moon about it.

But he wasn't.

In fact, that she even kissed him, now of all the times, nearly killed him.

Hook knocked back his whiskey, waving the bartender over when his tumbler was empty. The Rabbit Hole wasn't exactly crowded, but there were enough people around that it was busy.

The bartender refilled his glass, and it took all of Hook's willpower not to down it all in one gulp.

David slipped onto the stool next to him. "We need to talk."

Hook quirked a brow at the prince, taking a sip of his drink. "Didn't realize I was courting you, Dave."

"Cut the crap." David snapped. "Would you like to inform me why my daughter came to me and my wife in tears?"

"She's grieving." Hook shrugged, trying not to be affected over the thought of Emma crying. "Neal's death hasn't been easy on any of us. Least of all, Swan."

David noticed the grimace Hook adorned when he spoke. It only served to further anger the prince, believing that Hook was being callous over Emma's feelings. "Oh really, then why did she talk about you when she turned up?" It was only partially true, but David wasn't going to tell Hook anything that the bastard might you against Emma.

Hook finished off his drink, before turning in his seat to face Dave. "She kissed me."

David jolted in surprise at the fact that the pirate actually told him. "What?"

"Emma kissed me." Hook repeated. "She's just lost her True Love, and I didn't want to take advantage. So I left her."

The prince had to blink a couple of times before he fully registered what Hook had said. When he did, he pinched the bridge of his nose, frustrated with the pirate's idiocy. "You think that she loved Neal?"

"I'm not stupid, mate." Hook scoffed. "Nor am I blind. I'm not the man she wants, just the one she wants physical comfort from. As much as I want to take Emma's pain away, I can't put myself through that."

Before David could say anything else, Hook paid for his drinks, in gold coins, and stood and left.

David was torn between going after him, and going to tell Emma what he found out. No, she hadn't sent him after Hook, David had gone after Hook all on his own, intent on punching the pirate at least once. But he didn't expect to find the bastard looking so damn broken over the thought that Emma loved Neal and not him.

Sighing, David figured it was better to talk to Emma.

He huffed as he left the bar; at this rate he was never going to get to punch any of his daughter's romantic interests.

*************************

Emma didn't know how she knew he'd be there, but she had a feeling that it was her best chance. He'd avoid the Inn, believing that she might be there, David chased him from The Rabbit Hole, and he didn't have his ship. Plus, it was where they had had their last heart to heart, right before they found the farmhouse.

He was using his hook to tear off the red berries.

Emma smiled. It was that day all over again...well except that it was actually night...

"You'd look for any excuse to use that thing." She said as she stepped up to him.

His back was still to her, but she saw how he tensed when he heard her.

But she had to talk to him, especially after David explained to her why Hook had left her. She needed him to know that he was wrong; that it wasn't Neal that she loved. That it was never a choice between him and Neal, but between her keeping her heart closed or opening herself up to love again.

"Swan." He spoke with a cold distance that had Emma's smile fading.

Of course he was being distant. He was trying to protect what was left of his heart. Emma could understand that better than anyone.

"What brings you out here?" He turned towards her, his face impassive as he looked at her.

It tugged at Emma's heart, because never, in all the time they'd known each other, enemies or allies, had he ever looked at her without emotion.

"You." Emma said, stepping closer to him.

"Ah." He smirked salaciously at her, moving into her personal space. "Still desperately seeking what only I can give you?" His eyes were hollow when he spoke.

Emma swallowed, wanting to be angry at him, but unable to. It was her fault he was in this state to begin with; if only she'd told him sooner. But she couldn't change what she had done; she was going to fix it no matter what. "That's not why I'm here."

Something broken and pained flitted across his eyes. "Of course not. Why would want me?"

And when I win your heart, Emma - and I will win it - it won't be because of any trickery. It will be because you want me.

His words in Neverland came back to haunt her. Why would she want him? He really just asked that. To be more accurate, it should've been why wouldn't she want him.

"Ho...Killian, remember when you said you'd win my heart?" Emma began. "You didn't have to worry about winning it, because before Pan cast his curse you did win it..."

Hook laughed, hollow and bitter. "And here I thought it was a common courtesy between us that we not lie to each other?"

"I'm not..."

"You bloody well are." He snapped, anger shining in his blue depths. "How could I have won it? How could you ever feel anything for me? I'm a bloody one-handed pirate with a drinking problem. A worthless, pathetic thief and liar. A villain who's nothing more than a handsome face and a rotten heart." He looked away, unable to stand looking at her without breaking. "And villains don't get happy endings."

He chuckled and again it was a bitter sound that had Emma cringing, her heart breaking for her pirate. "Everyone's right you know. I could never earn your love and I certainly don't deserve you. I'm sorry that you lost your True Love, truly I am, but you deserve more than some poor excuse of a consolation prize."

Emma blinked back tears, trying not to cry, because he could never be any of that. At least, not anymore. He had changed for her. He'd become a better man for her, and here he was still doubting himself and being so full of self-loathing that Emma couldn't stand it.

But he wouldn't listen to her in tears. No, if there was one Emma that she knew would get through to him when he was like this, then it was angry Emma. So, she let herself be angry; at him for being so stupid and oblivious; at everyone else who had ever made him feel this way; at that damn wicked bitch for taking Neal away before Emma could even be honest with herself about her future with either man; at Neal for going and dying again, for proving that he'd always leave her instead of fighting for her; at Rumplestiltskin for creating the villain in Hook when he took Milah's life and Hook's hand; at herself for letting her walls dictate what she should and shouldn't do in regards to Killian, either ignoring his feelings or being oblivious to his pain.

"My happy ending wasn't with Neal." Emma snapped. "He left me, three times now. He sent me to jail when I was a teenager, he made me pay for his crimes. He's the reason that I gave Henry up. He's the reason that I could never open up my heart again. Then he came back into my life claiming that he did all of that because it was what was best for me, when the truth was that he was too much of a coward to face his father. I lost Neal a long time ago, and I never wanted him back."

At this point, Killian was looking at her, absolutely stunned. He opened his mouth to speak, but Emma cut him off with a severe glare.

She wasn't done yet. "It was never a contest between you and Neal. It was never who would win my heart. It was about whether or not I could open myself up to love again, something that I knew I could never do with Neal because he caused me too much pain." Okay, so maybe she was crying as well as yelling at this point.

"I lied in Neverland. Henry wasn't the only man I had room for in my heart. I was just too scared to admit that you were already there too. You were in my heart because you never hurt me. Yeah, you trapped me in Rumplestiltskin's cell, but that was only after I betrayed you and pushed you back to the only person you thought you could trust. But you never intentionally hurt me. And you came back. No one ever came back for me before you did. Then you, you stupid, pirate bastard, you're always finding me. I left you on the beanstalk, and you found me in the Enchanted Forest. I left you in the Enchanted Forest, and you found your way to Storybrooke anyway. And I was in New York twice, one of the largest, most populated, most crowded and busiest cities in the world, and you're not even from this damn realm. And dammit, finding people is supposed to be the True Love thing, and you keep doing it."

Emma heaved a deep breath. "You tried True Love's kiss in New York, and you didn't think that I had feelings for you. Well, just so you know, if you ever bothered to ask my father, who's pretty much a True Love's kiss expert, then you would know that True Love's kiss doesn't work when half of the couple doesn't remember her partner."

Hearing that, he sucked in a sharp breath.

"And that's what you are." Emma said. "My partner. You became that in Neverland, even when we worked so effortlessly together before that, on the beanstalk. And you became the person I trusted the most, I relied on you. You're my partner, and my best friend. You're the only person who has always understood me, you knew who I was before we even climbed the damn beanstalk. You're also the only person who has never given up on me, who has never stopped fighting for me, and who has always believed in me. You've never doubted me, and you always know what I need and what to say, what I need to hear. You bring out the best in me, just like I bring out the best in you. That's what True Love is, and that's why you're my happy ending."

There. She finally admitted it, that she believed that he wasn't just her happy ending, but also her True Love. She just hoped that he'd listen.

After a few agonizing moments of silence, he finally spoke. "W-why didn't..." he cleared his throat. "Why didn't you tell me all of this before?"

"Because I was scared." Emma mumbled. "I just...after Neal, and Walsh, I just wanted you to be like them. I wanted you to prove me wrong. To prove that you were someone else, that I couldn't trust you, because it was easier than to let you in. It was easier not to lo...have feelings for you. I always thought that there'd be an after. That after we dealt with the witch that then I'd be able to deal with you and Neal, and set both of you straight. But when Neal died, he died telling me that he loved me, never knowing that I didn't love him back. And I got scared again, but I was scared because I didn't want you to die believing that I never...felt as you did. I didn't want to lose you and everything that we could've had because I was too scared to make a choice..."

His lips capturing her's surprised her.

He kissed her with all he had, pouring everything that he felt for her into the kiss. His passion, affection, desire, love. Everything.

Emma responded fervently, returning every feeling, matching him in intensity.

They moved in sync; lips devouring lips, teeth tugging and pulling, tongues plundering, hands gripping at hair, breathing each other in, pressed so close together that they were practically one being.

When they broke apart, they kept their foreheads pressed to each other, unwilling to move away, not wanting to let the other one go.

"Emma, I'm sorry."

"For what?" She gasped.

"For hurting you earlier...when I left." Killian opened his eyes, their intense and sorrowful gaze boring into her until she opened her eyes to meet his.

Emma smiled, hand playing with the hairs at the nape of his neck. "It's okay. You came back."

Killian returned the smile softly. "Still, it was bad form on my part."

"Perhaps you just couldn't handle it." Emma teased.

"Oh, I know that I couldn't." He tilted his face all the more closer to her's. "But then, neither could you."

"True." Emma agreed. "Now, shut up and kiss me pirate."

He chuckled.

"As you wish."

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed the angst with a happy ending.


End file.
